My Afternoon with Hope

The stomach flu finally passed through our family, which meant it was time to see Hope! I spent the entire day with her on Monday and had a fantastic time. I made something special for her little girls before I made my way out the door. We spent the entire afternoon outside in her parent’s truly exquisite yard! It was a beautiful day that didn’t even require jackets. The girls played their hearts out. There was a magnificent playhouse that Hope’s parents built in the backyard. It was two stories tall, and the bottom floor was a miniature house complete with porch, mailbox, electricity, play kitchen, miniature sofa (with matching valances) and a table and chairs! Once you climbed the ladder to the second floor, you entered every little boy’s dream fort! There were binoculars and a telescope, a cot, a wooden chest and of course, more electricity! There was even a pulley attached to a basket where you could let down the basket to exchange secret messages, and then real it back up! The only way to get down from the fort was to slide down a built in slide! I have never seen anything like it in all my life. I sure wish I had gotten at least one picture of this playhouse. Needless to say my Brionna had an absolute blast. The girls played on the trampoline, they rode down the hill in toy cars, they picked strawberries and raspberries, they went on a treasure hunt for golden leaves and flower petals, they played dress up and had a princess parade, and we even took a walk down to a beautiful wooded wonderland covered in leaves! All this time, Hope and I were able to visit. When the girls were finally all played out, I took Hope out to dinner! Clark was wonderful about keeping Brynlee and Brionna for the evening, and Hope’s girls were able to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. We went to Crackerbarrel (where else is there?) and dinner was ever so tasty! We must have sat in that restaurant for at least two hours, and I’m sure they started to wonder if we were ever going to leave. Hope and I talked about everything under the sun. We talked about babies, surrogates, families, babysitters, pregnancies, my son, the Church, and of course, the transfer that is just around the corner! Goodness we probably could have talked forever. I had a wonderful time.

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Hope asked me if I decided to “name her Hope” because of the picture hanging in the clinic. I never realized there was anything hanging in the clinic! When I decided to call her “Hope,” it was the only thing that seemed fitting. It is symbolic. I would like to come up with a name for her husband, but nothing seems to fit like I want it too. She sent me a picture of the wall hanging in the clinic.

She asked me if I would consider being a surrogate again, whether it was for her or another family. It gave me a lot to think about. I feel like now is the perfect time in my life to do this. I’m not quite ready to have another baby in the house, and my little Brynlee is so perfect, I don’t want to make her grow up any faster! So this period in between Brynlee and our next baby seems so ideal for helping Hope. But I do plan to have more, and I don’t know how much more I can take, considering I’m not getting any younger and I already have a good 10 years of child bearing years stacked against me. I guess for now, my answer is I don’t know. We will see how things go and what life has to offer us a few years from now :)

Hope surprised me at work the other day! I was so excited to see her, but I was totally embarrassed. She just laughed and then snapped a picture of me! I am embarrassed to put the picture on here, but at the same time it was just another fun part of all this :) However, just so we’re clear, I get up at 4am. I’m not trying to impress anyone!

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Clark gave me my estrogen shot on Friday night, and once he stuck the needle in, he accidentally dropped it! In other words, once the needle was in, it bent, and OH BOY did it burn! It burnt for about an hour. It wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but I lived.

Hope and I compared scars on our tummies from all the injections. Hers seem to bruise, and mine just look like little poke marks. She said her ovaries are starting to feel like rocks because of the medications she is taking. I am not quite sure how it all works, but from the sounds of it, it seems like the medications she is taking act like steroids to her ovaries and whatnot. Her abdomen is starting to swell. The official day for her egg retrieval is Friday the 28^th! Which is great news for me because that puts the transfer date on November 2^nd. It shouldn’t effect work at all, or Halloween with my girls :) Hope was supposed to fly home on Friday, so she had to fudge her flights around a bit. They are having the embryos genetically tested to weed out the genetically bad embryos. This reduces the risk of a miscarriage, among other things.

I officially start my Progesterone and Oil on Friday, the same day as the retrieval. The clinic just called me and gave me my schedule for the next week. It turns out that Progesterone is the hormone that your body naturally produces to maintain a pregnancy. So I am supplementing the hormone until my body naturally produces it during the pregnancy. I have to take this shot every morning for the next 9 weeks.

Hope and I both feel so helpless at this point. We are just kind of waiting, wishing there was something we could do to ensure or guarantee a baby. I went out and bought myself a ton of airborne. I figure if all I can do is make sure I don’t come down with something the week of the transfer, that’s better than nothing. I was told that the embryos are incredibly sensitive during the transfer. They are exposed to everything, therefore I cannot wear fragrances or perfumes, nobody can talk during the transfer, etc. I will be prepped on the procedure the day before, but I am currently under the impression that I will have to stay on the doctor’s table for an hour after the transfer, and I will not be able to drive myself home, followed by 2 days of bed rest. I am so anxious! It will take 10 days to find out whether or not Hope and her husband are going to have a baby!

I have been on my knees a lot lately. I’m not sure what to say to my Father in Heaven, but I want him to know that I love Hope, and that I am so very thankful for the blessings in my life. He has a plan for each and every one of us, and he knows what is best for us; despite what plan we might have for ourselves. Hope has always dreamed of having a big family. Heavenly Father knows her heart, but he also knows what trials she will need to face in order to grow and progress. Hope is the most wonderful mother. I’m not just saying that because of this whole situation, because she truly is the most tender, compassionate and patient mother I have ever met. A would never have known that until I spent time with her and her beautiful girls. I am not the most patient person in the world, and I humbly admit that. I admire Hope. She deserves this baby more than anyone I’ve ever known. I want to give her this baby so much it hurts.

There is a lot to come in the next two weeks. Please keep us in your prayers.