Following My LDS Surrogate Experience and More!

A PERFECTLY IMPERFECT PERFECTIONIST

Following my LDS Surrogate Experience and More! I hope to share my experience and perspective with you. My adventures starts back in September of 2011, and I hope you can follow along and be a part of my journey! I follow one successful and one unsuccessful attempt at gestational surrogacy. Also, make sure to visit my Intended Mother's blogs (with a link to the right) The purpose of my blog is to educate people all over the world about gestational surrogacy and a little about the LDS Church's position regarding surrogacy. If you are somewhere in the process, whether you are an intended parent, a surrogate, or you plan to become one soon, I hope my blog can help put some perspective in your life. Please feel free to leave comments. I have the opportunity to be involved with such a unique and special experience. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also plan to express my love for the Gospel throughout my scribblings. Thank You for visiting!

Monday, November 14, 2011

8 Pregnancy Tests Don't Lie!

WE ARE PREGNANT!

The official “knowing without a doubt” that we are pregnant has finally come!

They let Hope call me as soon as she got her phone call! She was crying and laughing at the same time. I was smiling from ear to ear. I had always been pretty darn sure, but there was just something about having every doubt wiped completely away. We are having a baby. At least one! Hope, Hope’s Husband, Clark and I are all having a baby. I wish I could truly describe the emotions behind it all. It is an experience unlike any other. I have never experienced anything like it. Having a child of my own is the only thing that can remotely compare to the excitement, but then there are of course so many differences in the emotions behind it all. Hearing her voice so elated on the other end of the phone line was something I have been waiting for and dreaming about for so long now. I could almost see her face. I turned to Brionna and said, “Mommy is having a baby for Hope! Her baby’s in my tummy!” She jumped up and down and danced in circles and I danced right along with her. I called Clark. He had been waiting for my phone call for hours, seeing how they promised us a phone call by noon, and it was going on 2:00pm! I could hear his smile when he talked. He couldn’t bear the thought of letting Hope down any more than I could. He wouldn’t allow himself to trust the pregnancy tests. He was holding out for the blood test like the rest of us. Hope said there is a good chance she will come up for the ultrasound when we try to find out the sex of the baby(s). It will be so much fun to have her there with me! There is a pretty darn good chance we will take a trip to Illinois to visit her family in the next few months. I figure we will head down when my belly is good and round, but we won’t cut it close to the end, especially if we are having more than one baby. I have always wanted to go to Nauvoo, and I can’t think of a better opportunity to go than now! There will be so much more to the trip than just the sights; I can’t wait to spend more time with Hope, her husband and her girls!

It’s all so surreal. She said the very same thing. They have been working so hard, with no success, and it’s just so hard to believe it this time around. I have had one specific thought all morning long though. It was meant to work this time. All the other times that it never worked out, it was because it wasn’t the right time. I know it was so hard for them to have disappointment after disappointment. There were times it felt hopeless, and they felt like giving up. I’m so glad they didn’t. I never would have found them. We never would have come so far, we never would have gotten pregnant! They now have a baby on the way, and I get to be a part of their experience, I get to share in their joy. And the experience that I get to take away from it will forever change my life. I have already learned so much. I am so very anxious to know how it is all going to happen. The next 9 months will be filled with so much, it’s overwhelming to try to picture it all. Hope said she has never allowed herself to dream past the transfer, and now there is so much to dream about. She said she is ready to join me in the blogging world! She is ready to announce to her family that they have a baby on the way!

I hope she doesn’t hate me for sharing this with you, but I wanted to share a small part of an email she sent me a couple days ago. It was after we had several positive pregnancy tests. Her email was so simple, but so sweet. I cried.


"This is surreal. I just can't believe this is actually working this time!!! I've already been calculating due dates and as best as I can guess it would be around July 25th. I'm so happy that I don't have to worry about whether or not you care about my baby. There is so much comfort in having a friend carry my most precious possessions. Words can't express how happy and excited I am. I'm really glad that the news has come on gradually. The phone call from the clinic always about gives me a heart-attack. I can literally remember tiny details of every time they called me with news in the past (where I was, what the smells were, what I was eating). They are traumatic memories to me. I'm glad that when I pick up the phone on Monday afternoon, I'll already know what they are going to say and that it will be good. I wish I could be there-- I want to help you out. The money doesn't seem good enough. Meals and a babysitter is what you need when you are so exhausted. I hate being so far away. Vanessa, you truly are my angel. I hope you realize that this act of service is the ultimate of Christ-like service. You are doing for me what I cannot do for myself and you will have lots of suffering as a consequence. I think about how it is not only you suffering but also your family as consequence. I recognize this fully and want you to know that I APPRECIATE IT so very much. I know your sweet little girls will get less mommy time and Clark is going to have to take on so much more. Thank you all. Thank you for saving my husband and I from broken hearts."


I want her to know that the happiness that I feel is no sacrifice. I wish she could be closer also, because I want her to be able to be there every step of the way with me. She is of course planning to be here weeks before the expected delivery. My official due date is July 21st, 2012. Of course it might be adjusted if we have more than one baby in here! Which reminds me; we know what my HCG levels looked like with the last two blood draws. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes with multiples, your HCG levels can read higher than with a single baby. I have linked a simple HCG Chart so that you can see for yourself. I am considered to be 4 weeks along, even though the transfer was 12 days ago. But 8 days after the transfer on my first blood draw, my HCG levels were 213. 4 days later on day 12 (today) my HCG levels were 1162! It more than doubled in the last 4 days (by a lot.) Take a look at the chart and tell me what you think. Exciting stuff! I am totally fine with having more than one baby. People think I’m nuts, and I know I’m not a very big person (considering I’m not quite 5 feet tall) but this will be so exciting. Maybe I am crazy. Who knows!

On a side note, I am not only EXTREMELY tired, but now I feel like I’m starving every 3 hours! And my Progesterone Injections don’t seem as bad any more. It might just be that I’m used to them, but now I’m just real tender. It’s no longer the extreme amount of pain that made it impossible to sit on the potty, or walk or even sit. I have learned however that it’s not a good idea to jog at a slow pace. That still really hurts ; ) (I learned while trying to hurry inside the mall since it was so cold outside) The shots still hurt going in, don’t get me wrong, but the aftermath doesn’t seem as severe. So I guess the bad pain only lasted about 2 weeks, for any of you wondering if this might be for you.

So I guess it’s safe to say that 8 pregnancy tests don’t lie! :)

Stay tuned. I think we get to officially find out how many babies we are having in about 2 more weeks. Fun stuff!

6 comments:

  1. As a future aunt of the baby(s) you're carrying, I just want to say Thank You, and God Bless You!! We couldn't be more thankful or more excited.

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  2. Thank You Erica! I'm so glad you got the news! We are also very excited on our end. I look forward to hearing from you again :)

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  3. WOW!!!! This journey is getting more and more exciting all the time, and really amazing. This is an overwhelming thing, and the posts/e-mails are such tear-jerkers. I cannot even comprehend the emotions and feelings of both families! What an incredible experience!!!!

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  4. I'm the Grandpa to be. Thank you SO MUCH. My daughter was the kid of ours that always said she wanted 8 children when she grew up and with her life threatening issues when she gets pregnant, it was disheartening to see her disappointment. It was also a struggle to see the failed attempts at surrogacy. This is great news and lifts my heart with hope. 9 months. Can't wait.

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  5. Debbie, you said it! This journey is getting more and more exciting all the time, and I can hardly believe it! I'm glad that I can portray even the smallest amount of emotion behind all of this, and that I might be able to touch someone else :)

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  6. To Hope's Dad.

    It is so wonderful to hear from you! I have said it before, but nobody in your family should ever feel like you have to Thank me. This is the best thing I've ever been a part of. I remember Hope telling me that she always saw herself having lots of children, and it broke my heart. I always knew I myself would have a big family, and if that was taken away from me, I would be heart broken. We are all so excited for the next 9 months! :)

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