Following My LDS Surrogate Experience and More!


Following my LDS Surrogate Experience and More! I hope to share my experience and perspective with you. My adventures starts back in September of 2011, and I hope you can follow along and be a part of my journey! I follow one successful and one unsuccessful attempt at gestational surrogacy. Also, make sure to visit my Intended Mother's blogs (with a link to the right) The purpose of my blog is to educate people all over the world about gestational surrogacy and a little about the LDS Church's position regarding surrogacy. If you are somewhere in the process, whether you are an intended parent, a surrogate, or you plan to become one soon, I hope my blog can help put some perspective in your life. Please feel free to leave comments. I have the opportunity to be involved with such a unique and special experience. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also plan to express my love for the Gospel throughout my scribblings. Thank You for visiting!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

One? Two? or Three!?

We have all been guessing, and wondering, and hoping for a number. I have been anxiously waiting, along with of course Hope and her husband. I have had dreams. Friends have guessed, and a week or so ago, I told the clinic how many babies I thought we were having. But we needed an ultrasound. You remember how my HCG levels were pretty darn high at my first and second blood draw? Well the week of Thanksgiving I went in for another blood draw. They wanted my levels to be at fifteen hundred (1500). My blood draw was in the morning, and that evening we took our kids swimming at the Lehi pool. We were in the food court waiting for Clark to meet us when the clinic finally called. Fourteen Thousand, Four Hundred and Sixty Two (14,462!!) “Holy Crap!” was the first thing out of my mouth. “You wanted 1500, and my levels are at 14,462!?” But the nurse did say that she see’s these numbers with both twins and triplets. So we still had to wait for the ultrasound. Once again, the waiting was torture. The waiting has also consisted of PLENTY of morning sickness. It really hit me 6 days ago. I was officially 6 weeks along and the morning sickness bellowed, “Hello! Missed me!?” Can’t say that I did. But I’ve managed okay. My Zofran went missing right before the morning sickness hit me. Hope sent me a huge bottle of it. I had it sitting right next to my prenatal vitamins in my cupboard, and then, POOF. GONE. We can’t find it anywhere. So this last week has been rough. My ultrasound was at 1:15 yesteray afternoon. My amazing cousin took the girls, and I swear I got stuck behind every flippin’ old person from Lehi to American Fork. (and I’m talking almost point of the mountain Lehi to American Fork Hospital area) I bounced right in, stripped right down, and got cozy up in stirrups. We got Hope on the phone so she could find out LIVE! Well, see for yourself!

3 little individual sacks with 3 strong heartbeats, all measuring at 6 weeks! Just like we want!


I wish I could have been on the phone with Hope when we finally knew. But I was lying on the table laughing and smiling. I got to see all three sacks on the ultrasound monitor. I watched them measure all three babies. The nurses and I were all smiling and visiting excitedly. We hung up the phone, and I asked how Hope was doing. “She’s very…. uhhh….. very.... reserved.” I smiled. “Hope’s a Nurse. She’s supposed to worry :)” She has been worried about triplets since before we transferred 3 embryos. She is worried about me, and of course the babies. There are of course, extra risks involved with triplets. But I’m not worried. They printed me out several pictures from the ultrasound. We scheduled our next visit, they wrote me a prescription for Zofran, and I headed out to get my girls. I called Hope. I got to talk to her and her husband on speaker phone : ) It was so cute to listen to the two of them. They asked me how I was doing? I am Fantastic! They asked what I thought? I am stoked! We visited for a while. I told them every detail of the ultrasound. We are measuring right where we want to be for triplets! All the employees at the clinic came out of hiding to sneak a peek at the ultrasound pictures : ) receptionists, phlebotomists, nurses. All three babies are in their own individual sack. This was fantastic news. When babies share a sack, it can cause more risks for the babies. Sometimes one can become stronger than the other, they have to share everything in their environment. I can’t explain it very well, but it makes sense. When they each have their own individual sack, they have their own individual placenta, and so on. It was great news. Just one more of those things that goes so well on our list of things that goes so well. (our list BTW is getting quite long, which we are very happy about :)

Hope listed off her concerns to me. We talked about being on bedrest. We talked about being hospitalized. The nurse at the clinic told me there will most likely be hospitalization. We talked about my family, my body, the babies, and so on. I know there will be bedrest. And hospitalization. And planets will pretty much orbit around me. I’m not worried. I can’t help but be excited. I can’t imagine a few months of hospitalization masking the excitement of Hope and her family having three more children for the rest of their lives!! That’s all I can think about. 3 new babies coming into this world. Going to a beautiful home. Being raised in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And I get to be a part of it all. This experience is once in a lifetime. It is unlike any other. I might hate the next 9 months, but it is still an incredible experience nonetheless. And the friendship, relationship, and love I have for their family will also last a lifetime. I am so blessed.

I think I knew it was triplets. The nurses looked at me during the ultrasound. One said to me, “You knew. You knew this whole time. You came to me before you even had your blood draw, and you said, “It’s triplets. I just know it.” Yet there was no way you could know! But you knew!” I laughed when she said it. I had a feeling. I didn’t really emphasize that inkling to anyone, cuz I hate being wrong. But I think I kinda knew. Other nurses said the same thing to me after the ultrasound. “You knew!” they kept saying :) and we had a good laugh. I think I've had time to wrap my mind around it all. We are pregnant with two boys and one little girl. How incredible is it to be able to know the genders already! They drew my blood once again to continue monitoring my HCG levels. The next ultrasound will monitor that the babies are growing just as we like them too. I will meet with Dr. Foulk soon enough. He has to discuss selective reduction with both parties, whether we are for it or not. On that subject, this is what I said to Hope and her husband.

When he came to me and said -3 good embryos. Wanna transfer all 3? My very first impression was –YES. TRANSFER ALL THREE. I had the best feeling in the world, and that feeling of peace and confidence never wavered. Not for one single moment. To this day, I have never regretted transferring all three. I came home from the clinic the day of the transfer and told Clark we transferred 3 embryos, and he said, “YOU DID WHAT!?” He wasn’t angry, he just needed to process it all. Since then he might have mentioned that he would kill me if we were pregnant with triplets : ) of course he was teasing. But in all seriousness, he is like Hope. Hesitant, careful to take risks, very cautious, very practical. He just knows that it will mean a longer and harder pregnancy, as does she. Nevertheless, I have been very confident and very at peace with the decision to transfer all three embryos. On a similar note, I have been ever so at peace with the idea of having triplets. I have not once had a negative or hesitant thought. Every impression that I have felt has been a peaceful one. I can’t think of any other way to explain to you how I’ve felt, other than peace. Calm, relaxing, peace. I believe the Lord has had his hand in this from the very beginning. From me finding Hope, to the insurance, to the transfer, to the pregnancy, and so on, he has been very much a part of our lives. There is something to be said about knowing that Heavenly Father knows and loves each and every one of us. Knowing that he knows Hope’s heart. He hears our prayers. He shares our joy. He has had his hand in this entire adventure, and he has blessed our lives in so many ways. I know the Lord will continue to guide us, watch over us, and bless us throughout the rest of our journey. We have not come this far for no reason. The peace that I feel knowing that he is watching over this pregnancy is good enough for me. I will not fret, or concern myself with things that don’t exist at this point. I will worry and pray when we have a reason to be worried. There have been so many ‘what if’s.” What if we don’t have any embryos? What if we don’t get pregnant? What if something goes wrong with a multiple pregnancy? What if the day the babies are born, something goes terribly wrong? There are always the what if’s. Any of those things can or could have happened. But we have no control over any of it. It is all in the Lord’s hands. If I spent every day worrying over things that MIGHT happen, my hair would turn gray, I would binge eat, I would be negative and pessimistic, I would be unhappy, others wouldn’t want to be around me, etc. Instead, I am going to welcome the happiness that I feel and embrace each positive thought that overwhelms me. I have tears in my eyes. Hope is going to have her big family. I get to be a part of it all. She has spent all afternoon making her big announcement to her blog, to her family and friends! She told me that they are having so much fun telling everyone in their lives.

Clark just walked in the door. His phone has been dead all day, so I haven’t been able to tell him the news. He looked at me and asked, “So how many babies are in there!?” Brionna screams, “THREE BABIES! THREE BABIES!!!! THREE BABIES!!” His eyes got huge. I’ve never seen him have such a hard time pronouncing the word “THREE.” Hahaha. I got quite the kick out of watching him try. He hugged me and we danced and he kissed me and he laughed. “We had a 3% chance of having triplets. 3%!” I showed him the pictures from the ultrasound. It’s mind boggling and exciting and insane. Gosh. Here goes.We are having TRIPLETS! Whoohoo! :D

We have been given a fantastic recommendation for an OBGYN we should use. We have heard great stories of confidence and success. I was thrilled to get the recommendation. We will also be delivering at Utah Valley Hospital. It is where I delivered Brynlee and I am happy to go back. They are the best Hospital in the area, and they have the best NICU. Hope is planning to come stay in Utah when my bedrest officially starts to help us out. I will be excited and thankful to have her. I will try to work as long as I can, until my doctor says it's time to stop.


As a side note, I don’t want to hear any more about concerns for this pregnancy from anyone except Hope or Clark. I know what is involved, I know what risks I face, I know that I will be carrying 3 babies in my small body, and that I will be hospitalized. I will have help. I have Clark, I have Hope, I have the Relief Society and the Church, I have friends and neighbors and family. It is for a short time that we will have to work through the hard parts. Not once has the thought of being scared or nervous even crossed my mind. Clearly, enough of you share that feeling that I don't really need to. This is already turning into --how many people can find a new way to tell Vanessa there are concerns and risks?-- It is negative and I don’t want to hear it. Clark and Hope can discuss it with me because it directly involves them. I am already hearing it from people that have found out and It makes my blood boil. I've got to say that the negative comments are taking the excitement out of all this for me. That's not fair. If I'm not worried, you shouldn't be. This is time to be happy!!!


  1. Vanessa, I am a future aunt of those little ones you are carrying, and I have to tell you thank you. You are truly sent from the Lord. Your faith, your optimism, your courage, your is all so contagious. My sister had identical triplet girls a little over 2 years ago. Yes it was scary at times, but it has all worked out, and what a wonderful blessing they are to our family. Truly the Heavenly Father is in charge and is in the details. We are so grateful for you! I just live in Saratoga Springs, so if you ever need a babysitter for your little ones, let me know. Hope can give you my info.

  2. Hi! "Hope" is my best friend cousin. We were roommates in college and have been friends ever since we were two years old making mischief in my Grandma's house. I know how much this means to her and how much it means to all of us! We are so excited! Thank you so much!

  3. Vanessa, so excited and proud for you sweetie! Our thoughts are with you and we are rooting for you!! :) sending all our love!

  4. Thanks Vanessa! You and your husband must be wonderful! I will be watching your blog with interest. Much love.... and thanks for your sacrifice! Bev Nelson (soon to be Grandmother of triplets)

  5. Oh my goodness this is so inspiring. I ate up almost your whole blog! As a friend of Hope's and someone who is totally interested in being a surrogate someday, I applaud you; you and your husband have confirmed what I have always believed about the church's position toward surrogacy. I watched as Hope struggled for many months with disappointment and failure. You are truly divinely appointed for this and I am amazed at how perfect you are for her--finally! Good luck and congratulations to you both. I can't wait to see these babies.

  6. Oh. My. HECK. I just got caught up on the blog. TRIPLETS??? That's freaking insane! I'm so happy for Hope. I sure hope all goes well for you and that you are healthy and her babies stay healthy. TRIPLETS?????? CRAZY!

  7. Erica! Thank you for your willingness to help me through our journey. I am thankful to have loved ones of Hope and her husband so close. I will make sure to get your information. I would love to meet you :)

    Bev, it is wonderful to hear from you! Your son and daughter-in-law are so incredible. They speak very highly of you. I am so glad you are able to be a part of my blog. Please keep in touch! I can't wait to get to know you all better!

    To Ashley and the rest of you! Thank you all for you kind words of thanks and encouragement and love. I know many of you have seen Hope and her husband struggle with their experiences so far, and I am so thankful to see you all share in their joy :) Thank you for making yourselves known! It is so much fun to hear thoughts from the loved ones of Hope and her husband.

    and Haley! I know! :) haha can you even believe it!? Triplets. It's so stinkin' exciting I can hardly contain how happy I am, for everyone involved. Keep in touch! :D