Blogging the time away?

Who needs those stupid at home pregnancy tests anyway?

This girl. That’s who.

I made an oath (to myself) that I would NOT take an at home pregnancy test before day 6, after the transfer.

It’s silly to take them too soon, because you’re just gonna get negative results and then get discouraged.

I swore, that no matter how anxious I was, no matter how badly I wanted to, I wouldn’t take one before day 6. That takes A LOT of self control, but I knew that if I stayed busy and kept my mind off the results, I could do it.

And then on day 3, Clark got antsy and said, “just for fun, lets do one. I know it won’t show anything, but lets just do it.”

Damn him. I can’t tell him no. I was like, “Heck yeah! Let’s do it!”

That was that “self control” I was referring to coming through.

Of course there was no way I was gonna get a positive. Not a chance. But did we care? No. We had an insane stockpile of tests that were just waiting to be used, and about as much patience as a 6 year old on Christmas morning. Probably worse.

So I peed, and it was negative. Shocking. Clark, being the (I won’t say pessimist because he doesn’t like that word) but skeptic he is, was like, “I knew you weren’t pregnant. I knew it.”

I understand why he’s that way. It just balances out my “nothing could ever go wrong/Pollyanna/everything is always sunflowers and skittles-personality.”

Whenever he has a job interview, he waits two hours, and if he hasn’t got the phone call saying he’s got the job, he’s absolutely convinced he didn’t get the job at all, and he insists on it for a few days, even though he almost always ends up getting the job in the end. Sends me to the moon every time. He does it because if he really doesn’t end up getting the job, he has already come to terms with it in his head way before he gets the news. Like I said, I get it. Sometimes, if I were a little more like him, maybe I might not get let down as hard as I do when things don’t work out.

We balance each other out well.

So after that first test, we were done for. It’s not like I can say, “Oh I’ll try again tomorrow.” Nope. Every time I had to pee, I took another test. And then I stare at that stupid spot where the line should be appearing just WILLING IT TO BE THERE!

Took like 4 tests on day 3. Negative. Took like 8 tests on day 4. Every single one still negative. Again, shocking. And each time, Clark would say, “I’m telling you, you’re NOT Pregnant.”

Took another 8 tests on day 5. Still negative. I had to keep reminding myself that with Hope, I got results on day 4, but we were pregnant with TRIPLETS at the time for crying out loud! My HCG levels were going to be through the roof compared to this. Do you think knowing that made a bit of difference?

I was out of tests. It was day 5 and I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t even start trying until day 6! I have the same amount of self control when it comes to buying someone a present and waiting til the actual day of celebration to give it to them. I also have the same amount of self control when it comes to sweets in my house. I blame Clark for all of the madness ;)

So I had to buy more tests. For the love of everything Holy. This is just too hard!

So I tested all day on day 6. Nothing. Negative. Now I was really starting to freak out. I just could not bring myself to tell Corey I had tested and had negative results at this point. Screw that. I’m a huge wimp and I don’t want to be the bearer of devastating news. She had checked up on me, and I told her I was doing great. I started thinking of how I would continue to pretend I hadn’t tested this far into the transfer period. Yeah, like I was gonna get by for the entire 10 days letting her believe I hadn’t tested once. Like she’d believe that. Nobody’s that stupid.

Clark and I were already sick and pretty convinced it probably didn’t work. He kept saying, “It isn’t you babe. You did everything right. It’s not your fault.”

I love him.

I have several surrogate friends who came over for a visit or kept checking up on me. They kept telling me, “it’s still really early. Don’t freak out yet.”

Like it’s that simple.

Friends all over facebook were like, Have you tested yet?!”

So I went and bought more tests. Good night! I had cleaned out both dollar stores within a 10 mile radius, and most of Walmart’s supply. And everytime I had to pee, even a little, I would run and grab another test and then die a little every time I only saw one pink line.

This period of waiting is torture folks. It just is. Like I said on facebook. You wanna give yourself gray hair? Transfer someone else’s ONLY embryo’s into your body, and then wait for the results.

That should do it.

Thursday morning. Day 7. Two little lines appeared on that stupid little test screen. It was the faintest line, and it wasn’t even worth taking a picture of. But it was there right? They say, if there’s any line at all, you’re pregnant. But you take another one just to be sure. In my case, you take a few hundred. Clark looked at the line, and was like, “I TOLD YOU YOU WERE PREGNANT!! I TOLD YOU!”

Haha. He got punched hard for that. But it was hysterical. He was like, “I’ve been waiting all week to make that joke, haha.”

Brat.

I carried the test around with me all that day. I needed to see that little pink line every few minutes, just to remind myself it was there. I was so worried that the pink line didn’t actually exist, and that I was hallucinating.

So here they are!

I ain’t buying anymore tests.

K that’s a lie. I’ve taken 4 between day 7 and 8, and I might buy just one more like tomorrow or something.

I texted Corey on Thursday, I was so excited. But Clark made me promise that I wouldn’t say anything until we got at least 3 positive results in a row. So I just asked her how she was holding up, and I told her that I was hopeful! But as far as telling her about the positive tests, I wanted to make sure she saw the pictures as soon as she found out! So that’s why you get to listen to me ramble on relentlessly for half an hour just to hear the news!

I know things can change, and we can always get news we aren’t expecting. Believe me, after Hope and the triplets/quadruplets/singleton pregnancy mess, I know those things can happen. But for now, this is good enough for us!

Whoohoo!

Corey! Randy! Do you see the two pink lines! DO YOU SEE?!  :)