Following My LDS Surrogate Experience and More!


Following my LDS Surrogate Experience and More! I hope to share my experience and perspective with you. My adventures starts back in September of 2011, and I hope you can follow along and be a part of my journey! I follow one successful and one unsuccessful attempt at gestational surrogacy. Also, make sure to visit my Intended Mother's blogs (with a link to the right) The purpose of my blog is to educate people all over the world about gestational surrogacy and a little about the LDS Church's position regarding surrogacy. If you are somewhere in the process, whether you are an intended parent, a surrogate, or you plan to become one soon, I hope my blog can help put some perspective in your life. Please feel free to leave comments. I have the opportunity to be involved with such a unique and special experience. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also plan to express my love for the Gospel throughout my scribblings. Thank You for visiting!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Blood Tests, Bad News, and More Blood Tests....

What a week!

Corey and Randy were beside themselves and overwhelmed since the moment they first got the news of those little pink lines. It was so fun to be on the other end of the phone with Corey when she was trying to put into words what that news meant for them! She said she was trying to call Randy, but he was in a meeting, and was like, "What's up?" I'm paraphrasing, so forgive me. But she mentioned two pink lines and his response was something along the lines of, "Holy shit..."

HAHA. I'm sorry. I find this extremely hilarious. What an awesome response Randy! It made my day :) If that wasn't really your reaction, then let's pretend it was ;)

Corey said he was speechless after that. She said that he's NEVER speechless. We just had to wait for those "official" blood results come Monday, but we were all sleeping better knowing those lines were still there.

Monday was our "official" blood draw, after getting positive at home test results. I was confident, and ready to rock and roll, despite what the blood draw decided it wanted to tell me. Who needs the official blood draws when things are just going to work out the way you want them to.

Psh. I don't need blood draws to tell me I'm awesome at gettin' knocked up ;)

So Monday went beautifully. Blood draw, phone call, positive results to just confirm what we already anticipated. Whoohoo! It was official, we were pregnant. My levels were a healthy 1476 (my estrogen level) and 22.6 (my HCG #.) They want to see that number "double" within 48 hours.

Hearing Corey laugh whenever she talked and knowing her smile was from ear to ear was Chicken Soup for the Soul. Her laughter was contagious and I couldn't help but giggle at every turn of the conversation. They celebrated with loved ones near and far, and it was so neat to be a small part of their wonderful news. They made their exciting news official with their cute little Jaxston, who is planning to be a big brother in just 9 months!

Everything was perfect. Yes, yes, we technically needed another blood draw two days from our first blood test to confirm rising HCG levels, but nothing to worry about. 

So we blissfully waited for Wednesday, not a worry in the world. And of course, a blood draw at 8:30am means you won't get the phone call with results until 5:30 that evening. We all began to get very anxious about the phone call. By the end of the day, Corey thought I might have gotten bad news and didn't want to call her and tell her. That's what happens when I'm a little too honest in my blogs. I let out my secret that I don't want to be the one to deliver devastating news. But in all fairness, I hadn't received a phone call yet myself. You better believe I was calling the clinic like every hour. I was about ready to drive my butt down there and show up in person. I WANTED OUR RESULTS.

We finally got the call. The nurse practitioner said they were very concerned with the numbers. She said that 48 hours from our last draw, the HCG # was only at 35.7.

It went from 22.6, to 35.7.  That's not what they wanted.

I asked what that meant. She said they would need to re-draw blood AGAIN in 48 more hours, but that the rise we got wasn't the rise we were hoping for. There was this knot in my stomach. All I kept hearing was, "We are really concerned. Something's not right."

Shock set in, just as it did with Hope. This couldn't really be happening. I was sick, and totally freaking out. Clark was all over google like white on rice. What could this mean? What could this mean? What does this freakin' mean?? I think Corey was doing the same thing on her end, because she made a comment later on that said something about, "what they were reading." Clark was reading things that said, a 60% rise can be normal. He was also reading things like, you're in danger - you've probably got a "tubal pregnancy." Good heavens. My advice, don't google anything. Google just makes you believe you have heart disease, leprosy, and 4 mental disorders all at once, when you googled, "funny rash and headache." Seriously.

I was just trying to come to terms with the fact this probably didn't work. I was pulling a Clark, and it was for dang good reason. If I just accepted the fact now, and started telling myself that it all will work out the way it's supposed to, and that everything happens for a reason, I could handle the news on Friday when they tell me, "Yup. You're not pregnant, and oh, btw, you're gonna die." Doctor's offices and google can be awfully similar sometimes. 

Corey and Randy seemed to be holding up ok. We hated having to announce the news to loved ones anxiously awaiting results. But when you start your story from the beginning, you've gotta tell the bad with the good. You can't leave the bummer parts out. Hope was always a lot more cautious about announcing news, for this very reason. I get it. 

From the short phone calls and texts, Corey and Randy seemed to be accepting the news, and doing the same thing as me. Preparing themselves for the worst. It was inevitable right? You don't get super concerned about HCG levels for no reason. 

So we waited. More stupid waiting. I once again tried to take my mind off of what was just around the corner. 

I was told my Friday appointment was at 9:45am. And Friday at 8:30am, while I'm in the process of giving myself injections, including that ever burning rotten Lovenox blood thinner, I got a call from the clinic that said, "We have you down for 8:45am." Well stink!! I looked like death! I wasn't dressed, my hair wasn't combed, I was a mess! And I had to throw a coat on and run out the door! I walked into the clinic, frazzled, anxious, nervous, hesitant, tired, and thrilled that I looked like I walked out of an episode of "What not to wear" mixed with some crappy "Walking dead" knock off. It was cold outside, I didn't feel good, I had a headache, and I was emotional. Grrrr. I looked over to my left, and there was none other than, HOPE'S HUBBY!!! I'm pretty sure I threw my pen in the air as I threw my arms around him! And out steps HOPE! I started sobbing. If I'm going to run into anyone on the Planet, anyone at all, I'd like it to be baby Spencer's parents. I didn't have to have hormones and no make-up to make me flood over with emotion at the sight of them. I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I love them. There's no one in the world I would rather have been with at that very moment. We had dinner plans in just 24 hours, but running into them unexpected was just too much. Hope had to head back for her blood draw, and I was attempting to sign myself in. I couldn't see, I was still bawling. I looked up and had the receptionists crying. They handed me tissues. One asked me, "Were they just a wonderful couple to work with?" And I just started sobbing even more. 

Keep it together Vanessa. Sheesh. 

Hope's Hubby sat in the waiting room with me. It was so great to just sit and visit. They're just so great. That's the thing. They're just old friends. Friends. Genuine friends. The kind that you can not see for the longest time, and when you finally get together, it's like no time has passed at all. You just pick up right where you left off. Those friends are hard to find folks.

He asked about Clark. I told them that we bought a new car this last month, something I hadn't announced yet. We're super excited and have it completely paid off. We lost our cars to semi trucks and old age. It's not necessarily new, but for us, it's a Mercedes Benz and it's our baby. I shared the news, and we talked about my photography, Cafe Rio, and just life in general. He said to me, "Thanks for our little guy. We sure love him. He's sure a happy little guy :)"

I could barely hold it together. I sure love seeing their updates, and all their pictures with baby Spencer. I know they love him. I don't need them to tell me. It shows every day. Man they're sure great. 

Hope was in and out, after her blood draw, and before her paper blanket. She was finally finished with her appointment, and even after my blood draw, we all sat and visited in the lobby for like, ever. 

I had nurses, phlebotomists, and strangers I'd never even met smiling at me, and excited to comment on my emotional reunion that took place at the front end of the clinic. I apparently made quite an impression, and word traveled fast :)

I did happen to tell Dr. Conway personally that I wasn't about to wait until 5:30 today to hear the results from the test. I begged her not to make us wait like we did Wednesday, especially since now we were all waiting to hear bad news. She assured me they'd call when they knew something. 

So I drove home, and when I walked in the door, I told Clark all about the tears and the flying pen, the tissues and the phlebotomist. He was entertained, and excited that they were in town. We're excited for dinner.

So it was time to wait for our phone call. My phone rang around 2 in the afternoon, and it was Dr. Conway's nurse telling me we got the results, and I needed to re-test.

I. Was. So. Confused. 

I was like, "wait, what? I tested on Monday, then Wednesday, they tell me chances are, something is wrong and they're concerned, and so I re-tested this morning. Now I'm waiting for those results..."

She was like, "OH GOODNESS! I'm so sorry! I don't have that information here, my mistake!"

I wasn't worried about the misunderstanding, I just asked that she call me as soon as she knew something. 

She called back like 3 minutes later and told me that the numbers looked great, and i was at 65.1 today.

35.7 to 65.1. We'll take it! I was shocked. I was just expecting her to tell me more bad news. I was trying to wrap my mind around the fact that everything would probably be okay from this point on and that we're still pregnant! They want to re-test again on Monday, just to be extra sure everything still looks great, but so far, the numbers say a baby is growing at a healthy rate. I guess we could get bad news at anytime. We could be told that we lost the baby at 8 weeks, or 6 months. You always have to be prepared for things to happen that you're not expecting. But like I said, for now, we'll take it. I asked the nurse to let me call Corey myself. 

Corey had the same reaction I did. She was just like, "oh wow. okay..." and it really had to sink in. I think for both of us it was like, do we just go back to being all, "Everything is great! We're pregnant! Baby on the way!!" I think we've all had a healthy dose of reality and "what-if" this week. We're cautiously optimistic. We're gonna wait for Monday, but we're back to being hopeful for good results. 


That's a wrap for this week. It's been such an emotional roller coaster. Good, and scary, and good again! I'm going to bed...

but YAY for good HCG #'s today!! :)


I am technically 5 weeks today, as of Friday, February 8th. Our due date is October 12th, 2013! :)

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing Vanessa. I'm a good friend of Corey and Randy and I just want to thank you for being so invested in this - it is so wonderful to hear how much you care and want this for them. They are so lucky to have found you! Keep up the great work!!