Following My LDS Surrogate Experience and More!


Following my LDS Surrogate Experience and More! I hope to share my experience and perspective with you. My adventures starts back in September of 2011, and I hope you can follow along and be a part of my journey! I follow one successful and one unsuccessful attempt at gestational surrogacy. Also, make sure to visit my Intended Mother's blogs (with a link to the right) The purpose of my blog is to educate people all over the world about gestational surrogacy and a little about the LDS Church's position regarding surrogacy. If you are somewhere in the process, whether you are an intended parent, a surrogate, or you plan to become one soon, I hope my blog can help put some perspective in your life. Please feel free to leave comments. I have the opportunity to be involved with such a unique and special experience. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also plan to express my love for the Gospel throughout my scribblings. Thank You for visiting!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Not Really Sure What To Think...

Well a lot has changed in just a small amount of time. My last blog was just a lot of anxiety over what I’m up against for my next few pregnancies. Never meant to sound like I was grumbling about my current discomforts, just meaning to paint a picture of what I will realistically be going through in the near future.

I ended up going to my 36 week appointment a week ago, and they did the Group B Strep test. I still haven’t received the results of that test, but with my 3rd pregnancy, I was positive for Group B Strep, so there’s a good chance I have it again this time. I remember hearing I was positive for Group B Strep the last time around, and was really worried about what that could potentially mean for my baby. My doctor reassured me that they would administer antibiotics through my IV during the labor & delivery, and again after the birth if needed, and all would be fine. We let ourselves be comforted by the doctor’s reassuring words. Not much else to report as far as this subject goes, just waiting to hear the results, which again, are very likely to be positive.

At my 36 week appointment, which was Thursday the 21st, I found out that I was 2 cm dilated and about 60% effaced. I wasn’t surprised at all to hear this. Very common for me to be a few cm in, a little effaced, and have a month to go. I expected to hear just that. I told Hope and she was very excited :)

Then, we got some unexpected news about our insurances. I have a certain insurance that covers me, but the insurance her family has to cover the baby is totally different, and ultimately there were very few hospitals in the area that would accept BOTH insurances. Utah Valley, (where I delivered my 3rd, and also planned to deliver this baby at) was a no go. Timpanogos Hospital and American Fork (the two closest to me) were also not gonna work. They only accepted one insurance or the other, not both. Grrr…

Turns out that we had the choice of delivering at

Heber (a solid 40 minutes away with a drive through the canyon)
Park City (a solid 50 minutes even further through said canyon with a climb up a mountain side)
Or Jordan Valley (a 25 minute drive down the freeway, but in Salt Lake County, mostly inconvenient for the weekly doctors visits, but do-able.)

So that’s where we landed. From my 36 week appointment on Thursday to Tuesday (5 days later) we investigated, confirmed and got the ground work going on a new clinic with a new doctor in West Jordan (25 minutes from home.) I even registered with the hospital. Okee Dokee. I came to terms with the idea of changing doctors at the very last minute. Not the end of the world, mostly I just cared about everyone being covered insurance wise and making sure a doctor would in fact deliver the baby. I’m flexible. I needed to get my records sent over right away though. I went right in to my current clinic to sign the medical release forms. At this point I had been having a fair amount of contractions the last day or so, but at the clinic, I was hurting so bad I wasn’t walking very well. My doctor noticed me and asked if I wanted to be checked out real quick. I figured, what the heck, I’m already here. Let’s have a quick check.

I was 3 cm and 80% effaced. Well okay… I was a little surprised I had effaced that much in just a matter of days. At least this far out from my due date. But hey, I was definitely feeling some contractions, and things seemed to be working down low, so I can’t say I was totally surprised. I had stayed at a 3 or a 4 for a few weeks with all my other pregnancies, so this hopefully wasn’t too different.

I was just a little more uneasy, because I knew that every pregnancy is different for every single woman, and I didn’t need to go into labor with the baby’s family in Illinois. Hope wasn’t scheduled to get here for another 10 days. But I called her to tell her that I had progressed some, and that I was now at 3cm, 80%. I had never been that effaced this far out before. –This was on Wednesday

Hope was a little nervous to hear the news. Nobody really knows what to think…
She blogged that night, and this is what she had to say:

“Vanessa called today.  3cm dilated and 80% effaced.  Having some strong/uncomfortable contractions.

I NEED to know what this means!!!   If she was to tell me right now that she thinks she could possibly be going into labor it would probably take me 12-20 hours to get to her depending on time of day and flights. 
I do NOT want to miss this baby being born. 
Although I would normally want my baby to cook as long as possible, I think I prefer having an earlier induction date just to be on the safe side so everything can be happily in place at the time of birth.  Vanessa sees the doctor again in 2 days.  Waiting for suggestions from someone professional on whether or not I should start heading west.

By Thursday morning (not even 24 hours later) she decided to go ahead and come out early. Hope and her girls are now on a train heading my way….

Friday morning: I went to my new doctor’s appointment this morning. Beautiful clinic, but I didn’t love my experience. My records never showed up, so they wanted to start me at square one. Pee on a pregnancy test. I think not. Then they pulled out their little wheel to determine my due date. Good grief… I didn’t have the patience for this. I had been through a lot this week, between finding a new hospital, a new doctor, and feeling pretty drained from some pretty real contractions. Then the doctor came in and made it clear he was annoyed by not having the records. Thanks dude. I myself was annoyed, and yes it made the visit more difficult, but thanks for making me feel like it was my fault. Your dumb clinic wanted to make it difficult to even get those records, not me. Then he made me feel like I had to give him a run down of my past pregnancies and all of this pregnancy in 30 seconds or less. So I’m spitting out, inductions, deliveries, surrogacy related information, carpal tunnel, acid reflux, contractions, Illinois, 3cm & 80% as of two days ago, all as fast as I could. He seemed uninterested, which annoyed me a little more. The doctor’s I’ve been seeing for the last 8 months were sensational. Kind of disappointing. I wanted to focus on what’s going on with my body now. He seemed uninterested when I asked him to check me again. Well darn it, you know what, when I’m not sure where I’m at, and I’ve got Hope’s hubby still in Illinois, I would sure like to know what my body’s doing. Sorry doc if I’ve inconvenienced you. So he checked me.

I am now 4 cm and 90% effaced. Good heavens… I don’t know if I can take much more of this.

Here’s what I know:

Normally I dilate and sit on it for a few weeks, always needing to be induced. Never really feeling contractions or anything that feels like progress is being made. I’ve certainly never been this effaced this far out from my due date.

So here I am, 4 cm and 90%, and wondering if this will be the time I go into labor on my own. If I keep having contractions throughout my evenings, it’s gonna continue making some sort of progress right? Will I keep a baby in here for another 3 weeks?

I’m not ready to have the baby yet. I am living out of boxes til we move in a week, and I wanted to be settled. We wanted to have professional pictures done with Hope and I. Before and Afters. I am runnin’ outta time. My son will be here in a few days, my husband starts his new job on Monday. I bought a few things to make for the baby! I wanted to have time for my projects dangit… hopefully I still have time. Things are all over the place.

Well I called Hope after my appointment today and told her that we were sitting at 4 cm and 90%. She is a basket case, stuck on a train, being rerouted through Wyoming because of the Colorado fires, and won’t arrive til’ 3am. We got her husband on the phone, and everyone is trying to decide what the best move to make will be. As of an hour ago, he bought a round trip plane ticket and is headed this way tonight. Hope and hubby should both be arriving within hours of each other. He is a dentist, and I feel terrible about the fact that things are so up in the air. He can’t very well hang out here in Utah for a solid 3 weeks just waiting around. Ugh!

My doctor is fine to officially induce me on Saturday, the 14th of July. That’s all fine and dandy, if I make it til’ then. He said he won’t be surprised at all if he sees me this weekend. Who knows what to think anymore. I am a little overwhelmed by it all. I feel like it’s my fault everyone is making new arrangements and possibly jumping the gun, all because my body might be saying one thing, or it might be saying nothing. I wish I just had some sort of control over what’s going on. I feel so helpless, but responsible for all the hustle and bustle. I’ve said before, I would sure like to go into labor on my own just once, but I didn’t want it like this! I wanted to be at my due date, not 3 weeks out. And I wanted my intended family to be here on properly scheduled time. I wanted my hospital to be two minutes down the road. Is that so much to ask? I would also like a pony, a castle, and cotton candy while we’re at it. (I already found Prince Charming) Thank you very much…

So this should be an interesting week. I am 4 cm and 90%, three weeks out from my due date, and feeling contractions throughout my evenings. I am trying to take it easy… What would you make of all this? Hurry Hope & Family, I would sure like you to be here if anything does happen!

You might very well hear from me real soon! :)

1 comment:

  1. Deep breaths! You're doing great - and have done EVERYTHING you possibly could to get through this pregnancy, labor, and delivery with so much care for Hope and her family. Almost there!