Following My LDS Surrogate Experience and More!


Following my LDS Surrogate Experience and More! I hope to share my experience and perspective with you. My adventures starts back in September of 2011, and I hope you can follow along and be a part of my journey! I follow one successful and one unsuccessful attempt at gestational surrogacy. Also, make sure to visit my Intended Mother's blogs (with a link to the right) The purpose of my blog is to educate people all over the world about gestational surrogacy and a little about the LDS Church's position regarding surrogacy. If you are somewhere in the process, whether you are an intended parent, a surrogate, or you plan to become one soon, I hope my blog can help put some perspective in your life. Please feel free to leave comments. I have the opportunity to be involved with such a unique and special experience. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I also plan to express my love for the Gospel throughout my scribblings. Thank You for visiting!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

More Belly Shots :)

I cannot believe we are at the end of February. This year is flying by, and there is no question that it will continue to do so all the way through the Holidays. We have a very busy year ahead of us, and I am looking forward to every moment of it.

The other day, Clark and I made a stop at Best Buy. As we pulled up in the parking lot, there was a stall labeled “For Expectant Mothers.” At first Clark was like, “SWEET!” and then he was like, “Wait. You’re not an expectant mother. What good are you ;)” hahaha. We had a good laugh, but seriously. Can’t it just say “For Pregnant Women?” This pregnancy has been very different from my others in many respects. Obviously, I normally wouldn’t have to deal with injections. And like I have said before, it is very weird not “anticipating” a baby in our future. I was at a babyshower yesterday, and of course everyone was like, “When are you due? Do you know what you’re having? How many children do you have altogether?” I have found that coming out with the surrogacy at the very beginning is the simplest way to go. I could answer, “July 20th… and we find out in 2 weeks… but then it get’s complicated. So I just start out with, “Well I’m due in July, and I am actually having a baby for another family :)” That way the questions that are sure to come can come sooner. Like I have said before, I love talking about the surrogacy, and I love to share our story, so that part doesn’t bother me at all. But one of the questions I am always asked is, “How is this different from your own pregnancies?” And I tell them about the injections and the lack of anticipating a new baby.

Along those same lines, because we are not anticipating a new baby, I also lose track of where I’m at in the pregnancy. At first, I wasn’t aware of it. Hope sent me a “Happy 16 weeks!” text a while back, and I was like, “Oh! You’re right! I guess I am! :)” Over the next couple weeks, I was able to think that through a little more. When you are expecting your baby, you can’t wait to meet your sweet little one! You wonder what she will look like, what his personality will be like, if he is going to have daddy’s chin and mommy’s blue eyes. The wait is torture, but it’s because you want to play with your new baby, hold your new baby and all the other fun things that come with having your precious little one. I think because we are not anticipating any of those things, I am not anxiously counting down the days. I am still going on with my life as normal, because when this is all over, we will continue on as normal, with nothing new to mold our life around. Everything in our home will still be the same. I’m not really sure how to explain what I’m trying to say without sounding a little harsh. I’m not intending to sound cold at all, because Heaven knows, I could not be more excited to bring this little one into the world for Hope and her husband. I dream of that moment when they finally get to hold their new baby. I love being a part of this experience. I love all of it. But it is understandable why they would be counting down the minutes. That is the job of the mother and father to-be. I just get caught up in all the other going-on’s in my life because life as I know it won’t stand still for that beautiful moment. And I am perfectly happy for it to be that way.

People also ask me if I am worried that I will get attached to the baby. And my heart feels the very same way it did when this was all just hypothetical. Would I get attached to the baby? I never doubted that I would not. As always, this is not my angel. This is Hope’s and her family’s angel. However, I have gotten attached to one thing. I am very much in love with Hope and her family. They are family to me in every sense of the word. I am attached to our friendship, and it is one that I hope will never die. I am perfectly content to be attached to our friendship. It is a healthy and honest one. I don’t need more than that.

I have also had a lot on my mind regarding The Gospel. I was in the Temple the other day, and I remembered when Clark and I were sealed to one another. I was pregnant with Brynlee at the time, and I remembered the emotions that overwhelmed me. Knowing that our families are eternal. That we will continue on together after this life. Knowing that I was sealed not only to my husband, but also my children for all of time and eternity. I pondered on the Plan of Salvation. I was so thankful for the knowledge that I had that we all chose to come to this life, and that Heavenly Father organized families so that we did not have to face this life on our own. Those thoughts were so powerful when I was pregnant with Brynlee. And the other day, while sitting inside the Temple, I was overwhelmed by the emotions that flooded over me when it came to this baby. I am able to bring this baby into the world, into a home that recognizes The Gospel. This baby will be born into the covenant, and their family will be sealed together for all of time and eternity. This baby will be part of a family, just as Heavenly Father intended it, to lean on one another in this life so that no one has to go at it alone. And not only do I get to have my own family, and raise my own children to know the Savior, and lean on my own family in this life, and know the joys of being a mother, but I also get to be a small part of another family’s eternity. And to know that we are all children of our Heavenly Father. And that it is okay to reach out and lift one another, because we all want to return to live with him again. It is safe to say that I left the Temple absolutely sobbing, but ever so grateful for that experience, and to have that time to ponder on those eternal things. I love the Gospel. I love our Savior. I love the joy and peace that his atonement can bring into our lives. I love the knowledge that I have of the truth, and I am so grateful for all the blessings that have come into my life, because of that knowledge.

(Side thought -- We had an incredible lesson in Relief Society today, but one thing stuck out to me.






I had never thought of Faith that way. I was uplifted and grateful for this small acronym. I hope that you might be able to apply it in your own life. (Sorry, but it has been tugging at my heart strings all afternoon)

I blogged for 4 hours a few weeks ago, and I had lots to say, but at the last minute, my computer glitched and I lost everything I had written. I have not had the umph to re-type everything I had to say, so this was just a small blog to catch up a little. Hope said that tomorrow night for Family Home Evening they are going to tell their little girls about the new baby :) She asked me to post a couple more pictures of my belly so that they could get on the blog and show their little ones. So below I have two more pictures of my oh-so-lovelyness ;)

Last, I have got to put in a plug for my massive migraines. I said this on facebook a while back, but when I was pregnant with Brynlee, my monster was heartburn. True blue heartburn from Hades. But with this pregnancy, my monster has been severe, crippling migraines. And I have only ever had a few in my lifetime, so I never realized how truly debilitating they could be, especially when they are so frequent. I think I might just take the injections over this right now…

Hope will be here in two weeks! We will get to find out what they are having! I am very excited to see her and go to the ultrasound. We fudged the date, so it is officially on March 8th at 3:30 :) We will even get to videotape the ultrasound. I can’t wait.

While we are there, I am planning to talk to the doctor about these migraines.

Hope’s parents came to see me at work the other day! They popped in right as I was about to leave for the day, and we got to visit for a few minutes. They asked how their grandbaby was, and it was so fun to see them. I called Hope right away to tell her that it made my whole day :)

And last, I can feel the baby moving! In the last two weeks, I have been able to feel the baby all the time. Mostly when I am settling in for the night or relaxing on the couch. Lots of tiny flutters that last for quite a while. It has been so fun, and Hope said that it only makes everything feel more real. Her little baby is growing and getting stronger :) I love it!

Until next time…


  1. Nobody could appreciate that belly like I can : )
    So excited to show it to my kids tomorrow!

  2. You look great! Families are pretty awesome - thanks for your thoughts.

  3. Vanessa,
    I'm thinking about offering to be a surrogate for a friend in my ward. You say you've only received positive feedback? How do people react when you tell them it's not your baby? Because you said you're very open about it. Especially people in our ward would have to know! Do you have any advice/thoughts for me as I'm considering this? (I don't even know how they feel about surrogates, but they've been trying for years to have a baby with IVF - took them six years to have their first baby who is 9 now, and they've been trying so hard to have another one.) How long does the whole thing take, from start to end? I'm not done with my family, so it will affect the spacing of my next kids. (I have a 6 month old.) I go back and forth between "I must be crazy" and "is there a reason I keep thinking about this?" I'd love too communicate more with you about this, as I try to decide. I know I can't approach them about it unless I'm 100% committed, but then like I said, I don't even know how they'll respond!

  4. Hey, you! Have you thought about chiropractics for your migraines? I know that word is sometimes taboo, but I wouldn't have made it through any of my pregnancies walking if I didn't get an adjustment every week through out. And I have trouble with headaches always, and I know I haven't had my back adjusted if I get a migraine. I don't know why I didn't think of that when I saw you at the ward party ... sorry ;) Anyhoo, just a thought