I woke up Thursday morning with spotting and cramps. Not really the thing I wanted to wake up to. Nothing was too severe, but the cramps were a little sharp and I was uncomfortable. I was bothered most by the memories of my last visit to the clinic. I wasn’t expecting anything that happened on that day, and I didn’t handle the shock that followed very well. I have worked way too hard; WE have all worked way too hard to get to where we are now for it all to end on a bad unexpected note. I didn’t want to call Hope, because I didn’t want her to worry if there was nothing to worry about. But I also couldn’t imagine being in her shoes and feeling so far away from everything. If it were me, I would want to know every little detail of everything that’s going on. So I called her bright and early. I knew she was worried, but I told her I would call her after I left my appointment at the clinic later that afternoon.
My appointment at the clinic was fantastic, other than the fact that I waited in my paper blanket for a half an hour while Brynlee and Brionna destroyed the exam room. As I sat on the edge of the table, Brynlee kept reaching up and shredding bits of paper off my blanket. When I was wearing nothing but a kleanex, it was time to find a new form of entertainment. I blew up latex gloves like balloons, which added an extra five minutes to our attention spans. I was relieved when Dr. Foulk finally came in. Hope’s little baby is growing perfectly. It is measuring at exactly two inches, and is very active. Dr. Foulk pointed out that if the baby was in any kind of distress, it would not be active. The heartbeat was strong, and we were all very happy to see that everything was perfect. So the spotting didn’t worry anyone, and we think it might just be my body taking care of the extra sacs that we lost a few weeks ago. Everyone at the clinic came to say their goodbyes since this was my last visit with them, and I won’t see them again until the baby is born and we all come back to visit. I’m gonna miss everyone at the clinic. I’ve grown fond of everyone there, and am so thankful for everything they’ve done for us all.
Hope and Clark were both relieved that we were still on the right track. Everything seems like it will be smooth sailing from this point on. Hope mentioned in one of her blogs that we are at that point where nothing too exciting is happening, and there isn’t a whole lot to talk about for the next little while. Everything happens at the beginning or at the end, with the exception of finding out whether we are having a boy or a girl! I love to blog, but I’ve been told that I talk too much. A few people have mentioned that I go on and on and on and they lose interest and don’t care to read everything I have to say. On the other hand, I have dear friends that seem to hang on my every word, and anxiously wait for every new blog entry. I figure if you don’t want to read, you certainly don’t have too. I blog for me, and for those involved. I often ponder on aspects of this experience, and think of how I can put it all into words. Blogging is a tedious and long process for me. I do tend to ramble, and I often have a hard time putting my thoughts in coherent and eloquent sentences. It takes me about a week to mentally prepare to blog, and then I slowly find time to write a paragraph here and there. When it is convenient for me to sit down and write, Clark usually needs the computer for his online classes, therefore it’s not convenient for him. So for those of you patient enough to follow along, and for those of you who actively love to read my scribblings, I appreciate your participation :)
I had my first doctor’s appointment yesterday with Valley OBGYN’s. Their practice has 6 physicians that rotate through their clinic, and I will get to know most of those physicians throughout the pregnancy. I really liked Dr. Scott Jacobs, the physician that I met with yesterday. He was completely personable, and easy to talk to. He seemed excited to be there, and very supportive of the surrogacy. From the sound of it, this practice works with surrogates quite a bit. My first visit was pretty basic. Pee in a cup, draw some blood, listen to the baby’s heartbeat. Only we didn’t get to hear the baby’s heartbeat since my 15 month old was intent on screaming during my entire visit. So we more or less saw the digital 160 on the monitor instead. I will be back for my next visit in 4 weeks, and we scheduled our 20 week ultrasound! It is officially March 9th at 2:00 in the afternoon, and Hope has already purchased her train tickets to come up! I am so excited she will get to be here for the ultrasound. She said the pregnancy hardly seems real all the way out in Illinois, which I completely understand. Pregnancy hardly seems real when you’re the one pregnant until you start to show. I can hardly wait. I will never understand the people out there that wait til the day their baby is born to find out what they are having! I have to know. The only way I seem to get through the pregnancy is by shopping and making baby stuff! I want to buy pink! I want to sew little green and blue blankets! More than anything, I want to PICK OUT NAMES! That’s my favorite part. And like I said, what else is supposed to get you through the 9 months of waiting? For Hope and her husband, I figure it has to be even more so. Their wait is going to seem like forever considering their baby is growing so far away. So we find out what they are having on March 9th. It will be so fun, no matter what they are having! Another little princess would fit right in with their two darling girls. But a handsome little boy would just be the icing on the cake for their cute little family! Clark and I have two little girls, and oh boy do we think it would it be fun to have a little boy! We of course want to be able to send a son on a mission. And I of course want my stab at being the know-it-all mother-in-law that hovers a little too closely for my son and his wife! Haha. Seriously, I have a wonderful mother-in-law who always goes above and beyond, and who truly cares about her family, and Clark’s mother-in-law by no means “hovers,” but I want to have a daughter-in-law! This is my way of illustrating how much Clark and I want to have a son together, as bizarre as my reasonings sound :) As my imagination gets away from me, I only mean to put into words how much I would love to see Hope and her husband have their son also. I’m sure we can relate to each other on that subject. Anyways, if I am as excited as I am to find out, I can only imagine how excited they are to find out whether their new addition will be a prince or princess. Definitely looking forward to March :)
OH! January 2nd was the most beautiful day in the whole wide world! I was officially done with ALL my injections on that blessed morning. I’m not gonna lie, the last week and a half of shots was the worst. I got to a point where I wanted to cry when my alarm went off, and I hated going into the kitchen to fill my syringes with thick yellow oil. The shots weren’t really even the worst part there at the end because I was so used to being sore. It was just going through the motions of having to deal with it that I hated. I am officially 10 days injection free, and my behind STILL HURTS. Mostly when I walk at a fast pace, or when Clark decides it’s funny to whack me from behind. And no matter how fast my fist flies, he still doesn’t believe that my bum hurts! The injections have of course been the hardest part of all this. If I had to continue the injections all the way to the end of the pregnancy, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it. I guess if it had been expected from the beginning maybe, but I’m so glad I’m done. All I worry about now is my prenatal vitamin, and that’s enough for me. I’m proud of myself though. It really wasn’t easy, but I’m able to say I did it.
Morning sickness continually gets worse. I am thankful to have my Zofran. It’s much worse in the mornings of course, and I am usually up for work by 4am. It’s tough, but I knew this would be the case when we very first started all this. Heartburn is also making a consistent appearance. Bummer. It came early with Brynlee & was so severe, that I honestly think a lot of damage was done, and the heartburn now is just an unfortunate side effect of all that damage. I’m also extremely constipated for those of you who feel like I don’t share too much already. Not something I LOVE announcing, but it comes with the territory.
It’s fun to think about the delivery. It’s fun to talk about it with Hope. She is so cute. She gets emotional when we talk about it, and she starts talking so fast that I just have to smile. She said the other day that it’s so crazy to think that the baby is two inches long, when all she has ever focused on was that itty bitty embryo. I remember her telling me that she never allowed herself to dream past the transfer. And now she gets to dream about holding her newest little angel.
I have to share with you the Christmas present that Hope sent to me. She sent it right before we found out we were down to a single baby, but I still love it just the same. It’s a maternity shirt with a beautiful message. And I already told her that I still plan to wear it. I was still in a state of shock when I first got it, and Clark and I both teared up when we opened the package. I think it’s beautiful and I just had to share :)
People are so fascinated to hear that I’m pregnant with another family’s baby. It’s a fun conversation piece, and I never get sick of talking about it. They ask where I found my intended family and like Hope has said before, you sure get weird looks when you mention Craigslist! I just laugh. It really is the last place I would ever think to find something or someone so important. But if she had never posted that add on Craigslist, I never would have found her. And we are a perfect fit for each other. People always ask if I’m doing it for a friend, and it’s a funny response. Yes I’m doing it for a friend! But I didn’t know her or her family before any of this started. Which of course isn’t what they were asking, but how do I answer that?! Nevertheless, being pregnant with a friend’s baby is awful exciting, and always fun to talk about :)
Hope called me the other day and asked if I thought it would be totally cheesy to have professional pictures done of her and I.
A) I am a picture fanatic and LOVED the idea, and
B) thought for sure that there was a way to take genuine and sentimental pictures without being cheesy.
She told me she spent time online trying to get some ideas, and now that I look at her blog, I laugh and realize it wasn’t much help at all :) She did however, have the most perfect idea in the entire world! She pitched it to me, and I ran around the house enthusiastically trying to make Clark picture exactly what we were going to do! (He of course doesn’t have my vision and can almost never see something before it’s right in front of him) He smiled and shook his head at me cuz he knew that once I had a picture in my head, there was no stopping me. I am so excited. This surrogacy picture will be unlike any other! I can’t wait :)
At this point we are just slowly growing a baby. Nothing too exciting to report, but I will blog as thoughts come to mind. For now, Clark and I plan to renew our gym membership so we don’t feel like total blobs. Staying active will help us feel good and will get us out of the house. I am working to get my house in order. It certainly invites the spirit into your home when it is clean and orderly. My Brionna is in dance classes, and I certainly stay busy. We had a wonderful Christmas in Port Angeles, Washington with my family, and it was sure nice to get out of town. Life continues, and right now Clark and I are working hard to do those things that improve our quality of life. We have set many goals, and are making changes for the better. It will always be something that we have to consistently work at, but that has been the theme in our lives these last few weeks.
Tata for now, I’ll be in touch : )
